Vanity Fear

A Pretentious A**hole's Guide to B-Movie Bullsh*t

The Adventures of Drake Wantsum, Hollywood Stuntman

Part Fourteen

"Race Against Time"

“What’s going on, Duke. Am I dead?”

“That depends, Drake.”

“On what?”

“How fast the ambulance you’re in gets to the damn hospital. Every second counts.”

“Wait, so my life is in the hands of some random ambulance hack?”

“That’s just it, Drake. The people in charge of these things are real cocksuckers when it comes to irony.”

“Don’t tell me. I slept with the driver’s daughter.”

“Nope.”

“What then?”

“Do you remember working on Moonshine County Express?”

“Wait! You don’t mean—“

“—Yep.”

“I really should have said something when I noticed she had an Adam’s apple.”

“Yep.”